We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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