sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
