Don't make out with my wife yet
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
