So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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