I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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