watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
