tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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