no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Is it because I queefed?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
