...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
this just has baby written all over it
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
