these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
