I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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