We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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