i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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