whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
