oh god the rape fog is back!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
