he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
