i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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