So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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