Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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