I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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