sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
