I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
