come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
