My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
