It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
