don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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