dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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