Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
