sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
