pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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