As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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