Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Randomize
