just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
