ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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