i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
