No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
he just fucked me for my cheese.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
