Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
