You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
