I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
