I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
