Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
