I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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