The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
