i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
