he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
