I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
