is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
