She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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