before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
