I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
